This is where i pour my heart out...

I miss it.. i truly do.. I wish i didnt move to mandurah sometimes.. i wish i hadn't become attached to people donw here so easily. I want to move back. I like it donw here but i still have no real friends.. The closest i ahve to friends are people i make small talk with in class. I feel like such a social outcast her ein mandurah.. everyone talks about these parties they went to, how hot so and so is.. i dont know any of these people.. and i sure as hell dont know of any parties.. everyone is so clicky down here.. i want to be mates with people but i dunt wanna come off as if im trying to hard to fit in. I feel like such a dick going up to someone i barely know and saying 'hey can i sit with u guys?' its seems like such a desperato thing to do. That and intrusive also.

The year 11's i know are kewl. Its nice talking to them. they are alot more lightened up and relaxed about things. I miss Leeming. I had it all. i knew everyone that wa sneeded to be known. I got along with the majority of yr 12's and wasn't a fucking nobody. My school work hasnt even improved from being a library loner either. I used to go to parties almost every second w/e and hang out with friends all the time. Thats the way i wished things could have been down here. Its not looking like that is going to happen anytime soon however. The whole time i have been in mandurah i haven't gone anywhere with people i know down in mandurah.. its always been me inviting a friend down for the w/e so i can here about what i am missing and have a good laugh and drink with them. I can't tell them they are missing anything. Im stil the same, and most the hang outs i have ar eusually up in perth with them..

I miss josh, and chris but mostly josh. We used to be hell good mates. We used to hang out soo much when i live dup in leeming. Now i can barely ever get in touch with him. It saddens me everytime i listen to 'Sleeping with ghosts' to know im miles apart form what i considered a best friend. I seen him at dirks 18th though which was good, but he stood me up the next day which i was hoping would of been a much needed hang out. im not going to say i didn't care. because i was cut. I waited over an hour and ahalf for him to come hoping he would. But to no avail, no show, no hangout..

I miss going out aswell. I never drink anymore, which is good for my liver atm but its totally fucking me round socially. I hate the way i have to plan to go and see my friends, its never a on the spur kinda thing. The last time i drank was at dirks. It reminded me of how good things were back in leeming. I seen heaps off people i used to go to school with and all of them were all happy and buzzy and it was great.

When people are in a shit mood now i have to travel an hour and ten mintues to get there.. on a bus that stops at 5:43pm each day.. What the fuck is with that!! its like a fucking trap/curfew. The point im making here is i wish i could have the same life in a different location. I dunno how its oging to happen if it does, but i hope it well happen eventually sooner then later..


'Protect me from what i want - Placebo'