Tonight i felt like bursting into tears for no apparent reason.. i felt so stupid but maybe its just a part of growing up. I always cry when im confused or get really angry.. Me and my Aunty are more alike eachother then we think. We both have blonde hair and blue eyes.. freckles and a similar sense of humour.. But its not just physically but mentally aswell. If i argue with someone or fight (fists and stuff) i dunno why but i dont get angry i just cry.. its really soo stupid.. It's such a childish thing to do and possibly at the worst of times. Your trying to show how strong you can be, i dont think tearing up about it will help much at all..
no suprise to those who read this.. but i have lost weight again.. i put it back on form the previous time but i have lost some again.. I have just had my tongue pierced though.. so i couldn't really eat any solids for a couple of days. its all good though. My speech is almost back to normal and i am eating as unhealthy as i was before.. Ok i came up with the conclusion as to why i got so upset.. They dont know.. well either of them but i think this is it.. My old friend Josh to whom i never speak to anymore.. he reminds me soo much of Luke.. The way they talk, the way they get the girls, the way they dress, the way they wear their hair and have their lip pierced.. it scares me at how similar they really are..
We met under the same circumstances.. I was in yr 11 and Josh was in yr 12.. Now im in yr 12 and Luke is in yr 11.. Josh just moved school after year 11, so did i to MSC.. We met through a love of music.. I was really shy around them at first because i didn't wanna jeopardise what could of been a possibly great friendship. We became good friends through showing each other music and through a special love for Placebo. We worked with eachother at fast food. Josh dyed his hair all different colours, hung out at late night.. so does luke.. Josh bought WOW and found a gf and we stopped talking.. Luke bought WOW..
Luke is the best guy i have at the moment.. Sam and luke that is. I just dont wanna do it all again.. A good few months partying it up with them while they slowly become more obsessed and more hermited/crippled by a game.. Everyone says friends before some video game. Do you think these people who are on WOW for a living didn't say that? I think im afraid im going to lose Luke and i shouldn't even talk like this its so selfish.. The boy has done more for me then i could ever imagine. He visits me in the library when im lonely, speaks to me on msn, cheers me up and listens, accepts me for who i am.. I should have more faith in the boy..
I guess im just worried. It kinda upsets me how quick things can change and how quick things can die.. I think im a very jealous person.. When people find people to love i immediately think 'well thats me done..' and just assume i will be seeing less of them. I find myself thinking.. Was it them that has changed that made us fall out or was it me? did i change how i see them and think of them?...
' you are the one.. ' - Placebo
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