The active month of the year..

Well first things first, I recently just got my license, in fact only a mere 2days ago. It hasn't provided me with that freedom i thought i would get from it at one point. If anything it has made me realize how absolutely shit i really am at parking a vehicle. I have also started my Diploma in Remedial massage as of February 5th which has been alot more draining then i first thought. The teachers and lecturers all use their professional voice which seem to be soothing and putting myself and a few of the others students almost to sleep. I didn't think the body had so many layers to it as well. The amount of muscles the body has is blowing my mind, i honestly don't know how well im going to cope with remembering all their scientific names..

The people in my class are really quite great though. I guess being laid back and friendly would have to be a prerequisite if you wanted to be a massage therapist of any sort though. But i am one of 3 students in the class who have come straight out of year 12 and into the course. There are about 20 in our class i think and the age varies anything from 17 (I'm the youngest) to around Mid 50's. It's really good though, you learn how to interact with people who aren't really in your social age group. The only downfall is I'm traveling close to an 1hr 30mins to get there.. But hey, the train ride is an ample opportunity to study and complete work due that day.

I have also applied for a job at 2evolve, a company which suckers in innocent pedestrians to donate $20 a month to 3 different charities, Greenpeace, World society of animal protection and Amnesty Australia. It seemed like a nice job but i never got it to my dismay. I got into the final round of interviews though. I felt horrible cause there were soo many people that needed this job more then i did and they didn't make it through. I was talking to backpackers who were desperate to find work and needed this to put a roof over their head. But i couldn't let my soft heart get in the way of what i really wanted. I did the interview. It was a load of cock and balls. They were testing me to see if i can persuade them to love something I love and feel passionate about. This would of been a great chance to fuck up my interview. I chose music as a subject to try and get them to love. If i knew i wasn't going to get the job i would of chose something like 'molestation' or 'lighting fires' just for laughs.

There was one person in the whole interview process who blitz it. A man who sold 'the big issue' out on the streets for a living cause he had no other job or source of income. It helped him stay off the streets and in a shelter as well. But to me personally he talked a load of shit. Maybe that was what 2evolve wanted though. Can i just say, to someone reading this, it might seem like I am a little bitter about not getting the job, so honestly at first i was frustrated that i didn't get the job. The pay was 16.50 an hour and a $40bonus for everyone you could recruit. But now i have learned its not the be all and end all, and there will be plenty more opportunities for me to go on and do better things.

But yes back to this guy, who sold the big issue. He was telling us stories outside before the interview processes even started. He told us how he was fishing a little while back on the east coast, along the great barrier reef. He was peeling prawn shells and chucking them over the boat. He all of a sudden heard a big gush of water and looked over. He said there was a whale which had come up to have a look at him and his eye was just 'there' (withing arms reach). At first i was like 'Whoa!!' but then i realized that you would know if a whale was coming to surface so close to your boat, and how does someone who sells the big issue for a living go over east and afford to go on a boat? even in the interview processes they were telling us about the pay we get and he asks 'How much of the money we make can put back into charity?..' If my super-ego wasn't so incredibly strong that day i would of got up and said 'Oh my god! suck a fucking dick' but i kept my cool and rolled my eyes :)

On the 15th i went to a friends 18th, was an absolutely amazing party. I was up dancing, doing my thing.. I even ran around the party half nude and in my undies at one point. I don't remember it too well though. But it was really good. I was told 2days ago that people were spiking drinks with liquid ecstasy though. And someone just randomly handed me a slushy. So I have some reason to believe I could have been one of the lucky ones. Now this is where i get all emotional. That night my best mate Dylan was there. I cannot describe how much love for that kid I have. He is just so incredibly beautiful in my eyes. It's only when i see him i realize how much i have really missed him. But that night we hardly spoke, and he was smoking like a chimney. Now don't get me wrong i was smoking a bit as well. But i don't like to see my friends doing it. It's like a mothering thing. But i had a lighter and Dylan kept nagging me for it. I kept telling him to fuck off and 'seriously don't fucking speak to me right now..' I dunno why i did it.. I mean obviously i don't wanna see him fucking up himself by smoking heaps, but i shouldn't say that stuff to him. He is my best friend, there is no need.

It was only on a couple of days ago i realized how much it upset him that night. I was talking to a friend Kimmy and she said 'he was incredibly upset, I thought he was going to cry.' My heart stopped for a second. I could have fucked something up that was soo perfect in my eyes. To be able to get Dylan that close to crying isn't something to be proud of as it is so very rare. I have always seen Dylan as the strong type who wouldn't care. Thats what i love about him though, he is so unpredictable and always keeps you thinking, where as i wear my heart on my sleeves. But it was then i also realized 'Wow.. maybe i really do mean alot to him, and maybe he is conscious of what i say to him'. I was almost in tears that night thinking about it. But we are okay now. I apologized to him the afternoon and we seem fine. I dunno what i would do without him a part of my life.



'Hold me closer Tiny Dancer' - Elton John