And what a chapter..

So the saga of "him" has come to an end.. I have moved to perth, the capital of the state i live in. Im close to where i used to live before this blog even began. Its insane. I feel like my life has done a complete 180. I'm amazed at how far i have come and grown over the past 4 years. It was only a couple of weeks ago I was looking back on here thinking wow.. "Him" has ended. I spose i better fill you on the details so here it goes again.

We had been getting along great, better then last time. Things were fucked for him. He was going through soo much i didn't know what to do, but i think in times of great need the best you can ever do is just be there for someone. I would take him out, try and take his mind off things. We would get high and drink till our little hearts were content. I remember going to his house after some shocking news and there had been holes in the doors where he had been so angry he had just destroyed them. I left a bottle of Canadian Club at their house after a big night. His mum woke up to him drinking it at 10 in the morning. It was stupid of me too do. I know a bit of their family history, i shouldn't have enabled him to possibly follow it.

But he seemed to be getting back to his old self. I only had a couple of weeks left in mandurah until the big move. I made the most of it, we did.. I would be out clubbing and he would still be up, i would go see him afterwards and he would keep me up drinking even longer. It was soo much fun now i look back on it.. It was the last night i had in mandurah. I was with chloe, she is amazing, we drank soo much and just had an absolute ball.. Chris was still up at home and he came to chloes when we got back. I was a little upset about leaving, but at the time i think i was too drunk too care, and just made the most of it. I was with the people i loved and it didn't matter.

It was that time of night where everyone started going to bed. Me and him tried putting a movie on. As usual the dvd player wasn't working. We had a serious talk..

Me: "I can't believe im finally moving from mandurah"

Him: "i know... i cant believe im back here.."

Me: "do you like being back here?"

Him: "yeh i missed everyone, its nice to be back with family"

Me: "Did you miss me?"

Him: "I missed you soo much.."


I instantly didn't want to leave mandurah. We snuggled up which was a little out the usual and fell asleep in eachothers arms. Was soo sweet. Possibly one of the more touching moments i have ever had with another guy that wasn't just a one night stand. The next moment i awoke still hammered.. It was daylight by the time i had fell asleep. I had to be up early too help move.. The house was soo bare. It made me want to cry. Just thinking about all the good times and memories i had in the house.

Everything got packed up fairly quickly.. We had done alot of it previously.. It was suprisingly alot easier then i had anticipated, especially as my hangover was starting to kick in.. I was driving one of the cars up with the little bits and pieces in it. I turned on my ipod and away i went. No longer was the house my home. Hole was playing "malibu".. its always been a favourite song of mine. even to this day it reminds me of where i used to live.

It was 2 weeks before my big 2-0. I had invited everyone to come and join in this gay pride festivity thing. Usually im not a fan of that kind of shit, but the dates were too close not to doo something different. I had went to go post on "his" wall to ask if he was still coming. I couldn't help but notice all these less then subtle comments between "him" and this girl. I found out he had been fucking her behind my back for quite some time. I was devastated. If this wasn't heartbreak i'd hate to know what is.. I didn't want to eat, i was considering not having a celebration anymore. I just wasn't up for anything.

I couldn't believe after all i had done for them they would do such a thing. Lie about it too, why couldn't they tell me. Was it just a cover up? i dno i wasn't sticking around any longer to find out. The next couple of weeks were just crazy with alcohol. I didn't want to think about it, i just wanted everything to go away. Photos, memories, conversations.. all of it gone.. As much as i was devastated i couldn't help but think "oh its alright, im sure there is a great explanation for all of this.." no denial was going to make it better. I had tried calling them drunk a couple of times. They answered to me obviously upset.. they just listened..

him: "look liam, i gotta go.."

me: "but what was going on between us?"

him: "im going now.. bye.."

a couple weekends later we went down south for a w.e away. I was over it.. I had been talking to someone else, they were helping me through it. I eventually mustered up enough courage to tell them its over.

"I dont want a reply, nor do i even expect one, but this is it. I dont want to be "friends" no more. After all i have done for you and you still manage to fuck me over. You need to make up your mind, im sick of protecting you, dont come back to me when your next girlfriend fucks you over."

I was happy. With that i felt instantaneously better. There was no wondering anymore, there was no what could of been or anything left to question, that was it, the conclusion to this saga. With that i have been moving on. I have made new friends, and have been getting used to living back in perth. I have an awesome new job. I thought i might of been getting fired at first, but it seems they just wanted to push me to keep getting better and better and quicker and more efficient.

I love it, its always this sort of quest to be the best i can in hospitality. Im serving rich lawyers and office workers their coffee's. Their all a bunch of arseholes, well for the most of it. You have to be polite usually, but all the other workers feel the same, and we give them shit. I have a few gay customers that come in, check me out, makes me feel a little better.

This cute one came in, he was soo up himself, i had to put him in check. Just out of politeness i got their coffee order and asked how their day was. They said they went to the "gym" with the most smug look. Imagine someone trying to impress some blonde bimbo with their guns and the smug smile and up themselves attitude. Thats what i was getting.

Me: "I honestly couldn't care... heres your coffee.."

they looked like i had just killed their first born child, and if their first born son was called ego, then yes i squashed him like a bug. Its great. The managers are an awesome laugh too. I work nights doing some glassy work. I thought business people were spose to drink responsibly and act all sophisticated.. But no, their worst. They get absolutely paraletic, i have had to wake people up and direct them too taxi's.. something i have never done at clubs/pubs before. Its hectic, the manager dave makes it all worth while, if he cant think he makes me do a shot with him. How very nice of him. I feel so gangster doing shots of patrone with him.


I have made a new friend too. They seem really cool, and their also gay.. I duno what to think, i can see something going totally wrong and we just dont talk and have this fall out, but he is one of the few people i can have an absolute shit/boring day and see, then feel like i have truly achieved something with my day. Maybe he is special, im not sure i spose time will tell. We dont even have to be doing anything really amazing. We can be sitting in their room smoking cones watching family guy, its just good company you know? He is funny, and is more down to earth then most other people i know, so chilled. I feel like im so neurotic when i just look at his way of life. Im not going to write anymore, i know they'll probably end up readin this.



"you know what to do, come fly away.. to malibu" - Hole