its 12:23pm on a Sunday

Being my usual self, im hung over.. it was my friends 21st last night. Dont get me wrong i enjoyed it, and im glad the people who came did, it was good to catch up with everyone again. But i dont know what to think about it in total.. As much as i am mates with the guy whose 21st it was, i had this feeling like a little voice inside my head "dont go, just give this one a miss.."

Im still trying to comprehend what even happened last night, and how i managed to drive home.. My mouth was soo dry, and i could still smell the vodka in my breath. It was a less then desirable morning. I half expected what was going to happen last night, i should of known better then to give it a miss.

I dont know, i dont feel like i was a dickhead last night, but maybe i was. I ended up getting my eye clawed by his sister for being my scarcastic self anyway. I did kinda ask for it, but i was only joking around, i didn't think she would take things soo seriously. I was told she was a crazy bitch, i should of listened..

I was also told last night that this straight kid i playfully flirt with wants to fucking bash me the next time i crack onto them. Im actually mega upset about that, i didn't even crack onto him hard, or feel i was being too full on for him. it wasn't even them that could nut up and tell me it was their friend. I dont know what to think, i actually do kinda like this kid as well, we play fight like brothers would and just mess around and be dickheads, i dont have alot of "friends" who do that, i find it liberating.

I feel like everyone thinks cause im gay, i dont enjoy these things. I like being a guy, i like doing guy things too alot of peoples suprise, i mean im not the sportiest kid. But i like going out every now and again and i duno kick a footy, or go to the beach and stuff. With this person its like they understood, but maybe i was wrong. Maybe their just as close minded as everyone else..

It seems I'm too gay for the straight world, too straight for the gay world.. Can someone please just tell me where i fit, because fucked if i know now.